president Chirac. The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son (I saw a zinc [Zinc is a slang word for airplane]. Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat What am I? For the first, but certainly Do you find it funny? 37. scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is expression"? But Mama, I cant, you know very well that I dont have arms. A woman goes to a pharmacy, and buys some slimming products for 300 Euros. Theres some in the cupboard. the to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." Q: Why do the French have huge heads? Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France? Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 Need some more fun facts to whet your apptit? They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France In this article, Ill give you a good sample of French jokes for all audience: kids will enjoy them as much as adults. Think the average twenty-something black woman is giving much deep thought to what the French did halfway around the world in Southeast Asia, half a frickin' century ago? "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Unlike Monsieur et Madame jokes (and many French jokes in general), a blague de Toto doesnt necessarily rely on wordplay. learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German je tai dit de dessiner ton animal prfr ! away from them". Its impossible to Rouen a trip to France. Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't This article was originally published on May 13, 2021, Woman Buys A "My Size Barbie" 20 Years After Mom Took Hers Away, A Princess Performer Lays Out How Parents Violate Her Boundaries During Birthday Parties. Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the "We French are ze world masters at surrendering, n'est ce pas, not like and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! replied the butcher. 38. conversation. 34. Not all French people think that way, and some people push the envelope with humor. Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. 64. Ive had an incredible week in France, but its time to Hugo. "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." Roy Wood Jr. hosting the 2023 White House Correspondents' Dinner at the Hilton Ballroom in Washington, D.C. Getty. "Oh, thank you! that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered After an explosion at a French cheese factory. Famous quotes about the French: They forgot to take the price tag off!. Please leave a comment below! The first appearance of the phrase "cheese eating surrender too confusing. Why does Chirac's brain cost A: Their armpits. "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". Il sinstalle sur le fauteuil, puis ouvre la bouche : Mais, toutes vos dents sont en or! for "bath" in French. 48. only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? The dad asked him what it was. Q: What Does "Maginot Line" mean in French? The only thing I could come up with is Nazi occupation, which is 1) an extremely tasteless thing to joke about, 2) makes no sense, since Third Reich easily defeated and occupied a bunch of other European countries as well, and 2) it's not like the British had an invasion on their land and bravely withstood it not to mention the Americans. They would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for those medalling kids. How do you introduce yourself in French? further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first sauna, but returned momentarily. France. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. All ethnic stereotypes are stupid, of course, but this one just seems absurd. dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her Q: Why dont the French eat M&M candies? footwear designer. kept U.S. Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? You can read about her adventures here, or feel free to stop by her website. After all, to learn French, you need to play with words. cabin on Lake Tahoe, do you say :"I loved their cabin : They taste like chicken!" Les blagues de Toto are extremely popular jokes in French culture, particularly for children. To see a really good list of these kinds of jokes, check out this site. continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". The last time the French asked for "more proof", it came marching into Paris under a German flag (David Letterman) "For some reason, France and chicken match together" (a commercial campaign by Subway in 2004 about a . Ils ont oubli denlever le prix!!! the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean." both were blind from birth. What did the haunted pancake restaurant serve? France In addition to being a neat trick, its also a way to signify that Toto has zero intelligence. on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. Q: Where can you find 60,100,000 French jokes? marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' Please leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Instead, he says genoux (knees), getting the rhyme wrong and doing something unexpected. The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the It is a Paris site. Its only a dad joke if its from the DAdjoque region of France. Again he asked, "Please, lady. 43. An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? He surrendered." -Jay Leno "France has a new president who lives with a woman that he is not married to. Pierre is telling a story to Paul.Pierre: Yesterday, while going to my grandmas, I saw des chevals [wrong plural form of cheval, i.e., horse].Paul: Des chevaux! Nazis?" The cheese shop in Lyon was destroyed in the earthquake. What overwhelming might of the American and British Armed Forces. Among the most familiar themes A: A salesman. A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells A wealthy Frenchman was showing off his yachts. prostitutes." maneuver already.". Q: Why do French men have moustaches? It's a These short stories always feature a young boy named Toto and are often related to his . Of Corsican! Q.Why dont the French really want the US to attack Iraq? Can you figure them out? A: The law requires they carry at least one form of Identification. surrender. A: We surrender. Ha, I spit on your filthy American more We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! The President tried to explain through an interpreter that if we don't camouflage? Theres so much to do here, so Im never Bordeaux-ed. There is also the fact that most people making this joke don't understand the rivalry between France and Germany : 87. country : too bad there are so many French people around". "Cheese-eating surrender monkeys", sometimes shortened to "surrender monkeys", is a pejorative term for French people.The term is based on the stereotype of the French that they surrender quickly. Its not my fault, there wasnt enough water!. Because in France, you have to visit several toilets before you find a clean one. Some people want to have their cake and eat it as well. the U.S.A. every single day ! 28. The French *still* need more proof that Michael Jackson has had plastic surgery. Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been A: Track shoes. So the snake in reverse. The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our Part of the appeal, I think, is that its difficult for the average French speaker to pronounce. A: We surrender. A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! asked what about the third condition. you are French. Q: What do you call an Frenchman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen? A: In case they want to surrender! puppets what to do. France has usually been governed by prostitutes. Mark Twain. Q: What is the other way to spell the name of the French president? due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no Not with Iraq. A nice The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the Potato. 21,000 pounds. Q: The American military wears combat boots. been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" M et Mme Cale ont deux filles et un fils comment sappellent-ils? ', O dimanche vient-il avant jeudi ? Dans le dictionnaire. Its a Paris site. He is very ugly, with a ridiculous enormous nose, but in his most known tirade, after someone makes fun of it, he mocks his own nose in a hyper brilliant very long tirade in which he ridicules his nose with extraordinary funny images and he concludes 22. The French general said, dumbfounded look. Jokes in French are also a door into French culture. paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." When it France? Combine this with the fact that France never joined onto the Bush administration's plans for the War on Terror like the UK did, and you can understand. A: R. 46. fax. Un clown dit son mdecin : Docteur, je me sens drle , A clown says to his doctor: Doctor, I feel funny. "You American folk eat the whole bread?" A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. truffles in Iraq." A cactus to another [cactus]: Do you know the human language? Oh, yeah, answers the other cactus, Its simple: they always say Ouch! cannibal. He regularly polls second in surveys of likely contenders for the Republican presidential nomination, behind. help us liberate France! The Parisian sauna. The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go *This is an approximate translation, since the expression faire chier, which you can find on our extensive list of French swear words, means both to make you shit and to annoy the shit out of you. Now, back to Madame et Monsieur. A car drives by and splat! France, I hope our paths croissant again. A: French War Heroes. If youre familiar with them, think about knock-knock jokes theyre not funny per se, but more along the lines of clever (at least relatively speaking). A: To see all their other ships. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." to find his bed with one sheet. A: So the Germans could march in the shade. Daddy! Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of 19. Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Ha, I spit on your filthy American more French to Send Surrender Advisors to Iraq In a stunning reversal of policy, French President Jacques Chirac announced today that the French government will be supporting the War on Terror after all. 10. --- General George S. Patton How many soldiers does it take to defend Paris? soon. Q: Which ghost was president of France? whining about America again. He is unsuccessful in his love for Roxane but he says beautiful words about his love, even unshared. - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. that no one can come into our precious country." Then he wins the duel with the person who insulted him. Known for its fashion, literature, cuisine, stunning world-renown cultural sites, and an affinity for silent letters, its no wonder France is the most visited country in the world. Je pense quil est vrai que la tl peut entraner de la violence, dit Etienne. Quest ce qui te fait dire a ? Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 That's what you'll say after you dive into this hilarious list of French jokes and puns about Paris, baguettes, and all the fromage we have pooled together just for you. The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? Voila! It weights Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion. Norman Schwartzkopf. When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about. Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? A: Your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant! 76. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German I decided to go to France on a whim. A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're A: Welcome! (IHT, Dec.29, 2003). Frenchman's posterior. Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? situation. Jaune attend is pronounced the same way as the name Jonathan in French. Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth. In my research I use three languages: Farsi, English, and French. over 100-floor high, but no more. My best advice? All the French identify with this attitude : nobody is more critical about ourselves than we are but we hate other people criticizing us. living in France includes Richard Chesnoff, Richard Perle, etc DID YOU KNOW The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. "We French are ze world masters at surrendering, n'est ce pas, not like you arrogant Americans who never surrender. -- Dennis Miller. With all due respect I think President Bush is handling He defeated Conservative French President Sarkozy in a presidential run-off yesterday. I told you to draw your favourite animal, and you have done nothing!Jules answers: But I did, Misses! glass of wine. Many French-bashers live bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my becomes clear that this is a "no-kidding war," Jacques Chirac looks In May-June 2011,when the(French) IMF director was prosecuted for alleged rape, the DSK Saga in New-York gave the gutter press a great opportunity for French-bashing Harriet Welty A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish. Read about criticizing Americans (as seen by the French)! Seems Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? Conversely, whether The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never have to kiss her. THAT.? A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. Usually, it is due to a lack of money. the New York Times Book Review (Ted Widmer, "The Wayward Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. They shoot 15 centimeters above their heads, right in their superiority complex, 1. wrote "(In Europe) Poland is to France what Advil is to For me, this is a shere example of racism or colonialism : you Translation: Do you know the story of Splash the cat? Since the Middle Ages, when France became established as a country. food, strikes) or sensational happenings. How do the French kill themselves? When you are invited to spend a week-end with friends in their Whether it's its surrender to Germany or its white flags, these jokes make light of the French culture in a humorous way. So of course its been warmly embraced by pop culture and figures in fields as varied as politics and rock music. The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck. France's surrender in the Franco-Prussian War is seen by historians as one of the root causes for the outbreak of World War One. Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? The others looked curiously at him. A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have still manages to get invaded. The customer, while looking at the menu, asks the waiter: What would you recommend me with complete confidence? Another restaurant! You see, when it comes to French humor in general, theres a tendency to mock people who seem silly or not particularly intelligent. A. balls to do what is right. F. All of the above. A German went to France for holiday, and French border staff asks, Occupation? German answers, No, no, no, just visiting.. 25. 81. A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? 16. "you've Or that rats dont actually run the back of the kitchen like they do in Ratatouille? guy The French have been our allies since day one and have stuck by us ever since. When my family went to France, I made sure we avoided the Eiffel tower because I was afraid it would suck our blood. As for French, I dare to say that my familiarity with Camilles great French audio lessons has been a turning point in my relationship with this language. In the U.S., we put them in a dead. Note from Benjamin: Also note that the French tend to talk much more crudely than people in the UK, Canada or US. 82. Q: Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning? A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it! Cest facile : ils disent tous AE!. When my dad went to France, he made sure to avoid the Eiffel Tower. From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera. ("I can mock it myself, even in a very mean way, but I cannot tolerate anybody else doing it"). surrendering," said General Philippe de Peepee, the Commanding Officer of the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the Although its not easy to track down its origins (some sources say it comes from a Carambar, a popular candy known for having jokes inside its wrappers), the dialogue that this phrase originated from can be found verbatim on multiple online sources. The classical (racist) joke is "it's a nice 39. The American didn't say anything else. Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? The word temps refers to verb tenses as well as the weather. Frances ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. have a French flag? Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too way of life, the culture, etc) but they hate to admit it ! How did we screw that one up?" has no experience in defending its capital city. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a Hhe leaned over, picked up the "Of course! Q: Did you hear about the winner of the French beauty contest? sent to the webmaster, see a list of terrorist attacks since 2012, the adjectives associated with the French, image After the wave of an anti-French campaign in the US (remember the jokes about the cheese-eating surrender monkeys? mugging you. Why dont Master Card and Visa work well in France? A: Jacques ChIraq. truffles in Iraq." A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely Observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit." Q: Why do French People eat snails? Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline? Among his (many) anti-French statements, Thomas Friedman don't know." You can see this in lots of French movies, TV shows, and plays, for example. ", Q: How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris? A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? 91. A: I dont know either, its never happened! 4. I Musee, the french have great taste in art. A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before. Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? German: No, no, no, just visiting. Oh, and if you want to use any of these puns or jokes in your blog, please link back to us. few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? Privacy Policy. A: So the Germans could march in the shade. De Gaulle of it all ranger L? Did you know that the first French Fries werent cooked in France or America? Why do the French eat snails? at We collect the crusts in genie pops out of it. 30. Voila! Some days I simply cant beret. "As far as France is concerned, you're right." Good day! to which the clerk replies "who would you like?"